Advent thoughts 3: Criticism

Today I have been mostly thinking about...

...criticism...debate...volunteering...sale or return...gifts...Facebook...emails...the future...job interviews...assignments...shopping...

I don't think anyone really likes criticism. Appreciates it, yes. Understands its value, undoubtedly. But that's not the same as liking it. And I think the impact of criticism is always affected by the spirit in which it's offered. I'll hold up my hands and admit that I don't respond well to being told that what I'm doing is a bit rubbish and really I should do it like this by people who I don't know, or I don't trust, or whose motives I suspect, or who I don't think understands me or the context. I'll also hold up my hands and admit that this doesn't make me an easy person to line manage - sorry to those of you have tried!

But if I'm criticised by someone I do know, who I trust, who I know wants the best for me, who has done their best to understand me and what I'm trying to do, then that's a genuinely different story. I still won't necessarily find the criticism easy to take but I will take it, and I'll reflect on it and I'll work hard to work out how it can shape the future.

And then I have to remember the same rule of thumb when I'm tempted to criticise others. Have I worked to get to know them, have I earned their trust, do I want the best for them (and do they know that), have I invested time and effort into trying to understand them and what they're trying to do? If the answer to any of those is 'no', then what's the value of my criticism? What's the likelihood that it'll make any difference?