Let them eat cake!

It's been a while since I wrote about the process of trying to work out what to do with my life. That's largely because in the weeks leading up to Christmas I was a bit too preoccupied with packing up my flat and organising presents and festive food to have the energy or inclination to think about anything else!

While it's fair to say that on the face of things very little has changed on the job front, I do feel like there's been some progression in the last couple of weeks. Moving out of my flat will have a significant impact on the pressure on my finances as I've moved in with a friend who's a vicar and therefore isn't allowed to charge me rent! I knew having so many clerical friends would pay off in the end! While this is only intended as a short-term arrangement it means I can take a few months to genuinely explore what my options might be, which is an amazing blessing really.

So how am I spending my time? I still have a job one day a week in a small home and garden shop although a job that started off being five minutes walk round the corner from my flat has become a 30 minute car journey. It'll do for now...

I've also started teaching the piano again for the first time in a few years which I'm really enjoying. My pupil is the ten-year-old daughter of the pastor at church - she's good fun and a fast learner! I think there's potential to find two or three more pupils, so one of my goals is to find out about becoming self-employed, just so that income is all above board and proper.

I've also decided to invest some time and energy in baking. I've realised that not only is it something I enjoy, that I find creative and productive, but it appears I might also be quite good at it! Feedback from my little Christmas mince pie production line has been incredibly positive and encouraging so it seems a good use of my time to take the basic skills I learnt baking fairy cakes with Mum when I was four and up my game a bit.

I think one of the other reasons that baking feels like a significant thing for now is that there's a tangible connection between it and some of the other things I'm keen to explore over the next few months, including things like how to effectively build community, and developing a better understanding issues around fair trade. If I can do that whilst feeding people cake, so much the better!

I've written before about the possibility of developing some kind of small business and it feels like a very scary thing to do. But recently I've been aware of more and more people I know developing side projects or just going public with ideas in ways that have made me think that I really just need to get on and do something! Over the last couple of months I've spent some time with my cousin, Ben, who's working towards becoming a credentialed coach. The speed at which he's clarified and articulated what he wants to achieve and then taken tangible, creative steps to make that happen has been pretty awe-inspiring. You can have a look at what he's doing here.

The one slight fly in the ointment is that so far the redundancy coaching I started at the end of November doesn't seem to be working out in quite the way I'd hoped, and one of the challenges of the next few weeks will be working out how to respond to that. But all things considered, things seem pretty positive at the moment...

WWJD?

That was the question I was left asking after a youth work team planning meeting this evening, when I was confronted with an age-old conundrum - how do you effectively exercise leadership and influence in the absence of power and position?

I've been a volunteer youth leader at church for around six months. No-one at church has seen my CV and few have heard very much about my previous youth work experience. I have, as far as I can tell, as much, if not slightly more, theological training as the minister. I'm not an employee of the church, and I'm not part of the church leadership team. In fact I'm not even a church member and that, as any good Baptist will tell you, puts me right at the bottom of the heap when it comes to position.

And yet, my sense is that this is the place God has called me to for this time, that there are significant things I have to offer, and that God is expecting me to offer them, whilst stripping me of the 'tools' that I've been used to having at my disposal - a title, a recognised position of leadership, access to regular opportunities to communicate with the whole church, right of veto over things I think are a bit daft. Or indeed downright ridiculous.

In the past I've talked the language of 'earning the right to speak' but it's only now that I'm beginning to see what that really looks like in practice. I suspect it boils down to investing in relationships. Lots of them. With God. With the young people. With the youth team. With the pastor. With parents, church members, the local community.

There are so many reasons why that's a pretty scary prospect and I'm not sure I can do it. I'm not sure, frankly, that I want to do it.

What would Jesus do?

2012: A space odyssey

Never before have I looked out from the dizzy heights of January 1 and had no idea what the next twelve months might hold. 2012 stretches ahead, a blank canvas save for a few events - a change of address (hopefully in the next fortnight), a couple of weddings in the summer.

If I had to choose just one resolution for this year it would simply be to make the most of every opportunity, whatever they might be. I do have some more specific resolutions too - reading through the Bible in a year (I got pretty close in 2011), getting back into the habit of journalling, honing my baking skills.

The challenge will be getting the balance between being disciplined enough with my time to feel like I'm being productive (whatever that might mean!) and having the space and freedom to respond to unexpected opportunities as and when they present themselves. Given that my approach to spontaneity tends to be to try and plan it six months in advance I suspect that's going to be a fairly tricky balance to strike!