That was the week that was

So, as predicated, there was very little room for spontaneity this week - all work, baking, form-filling and sermon prep. This is not an inherently bad thing - in fact it's felt like a pretty productive week.

My cuppa with Pregnant Laura yesterday was the most spontaneous thing I did. Actually, the most spontaneous thing was buying her a large jar of Nutella as pre-new baby present - part throw-back to our desk-sharing days and part wanting to be a little more imaginative that a packet of baby-gros.

Not sure the spontaneity quotient will be much higher next week, what with the start of the fair trade shop and café tomorrow (have I mentioned that?!), but there should be plenty of pictures of cake!

Just did it

On reflection the seeds of this experiment in spontaneity were sown last Monday when a few disparate elements came together in an unexpected fashion.

Element 1: I'm the process of exploring the possibility of becoming a Baptist minister. This is requiring me to do lots of reflecting (ha!).

Element 2. At some point during March my housemate is kicking me out - she's getting married and has decided she'd rather I didn't live with her and her new husband. So selfish. Therefore I will soon be homeless.

Element 3. Aforementioned housemate has just been away for a few days at Scargill House and when she got back she mentioned that they are trying to grow a live-in community and are looking for people to join them. I think she just told me this because it was interesting, not as a subtle hint...

On Monday evening I was thinking about what the next few months might hold when it suddenly occurred to me that living in a community like that at Scargill could be a valuable way to spend the time between moving out of my current accommodation and starting my ministerial training.
So far, so reflective.

What happened next was entirely uncharacteristic. I sat down at my laptop and wrote an email to Scargill asking about the possibility of being part of their community for a few months. Just like that. No list of pros and cons, no mulling it over.

Just did it.

So far I haven't had anything other than an acknowledgement email back, but there's a very real sense in which just sending the email was as significant an achievement than anything that may or may not come out of the enquiry. Well done me.

The early bird...

BREAKING LENT CHALLENGE NEWS! I did an actual spontaneous thing today! During a conversation with my boss I invited her to come and talk to the young people at church about fair trade during, er, Fairtrade Fortnight. Gratifyingly she said yes so that's one less youth group session for me to plan this term!

And that leads me on nicely to other things that have been on my mind today. I suspect this week is going to be less about embracing spontaneity and more about avoiding procrastination. There's a lot going on - preparation for Fairtrade Fortnight which begins next weekend, completing my scary Baptist minister application form and working on sermons for the next three Sunday evenings which I'll be team-teaching with my pastor (and no, I'm not entirely sure what that means either...).

I know I'm feeling anxious about how the week might work out because for the first time in a few weeks I was awake at 4.30am and couldn't go back to sleep - not the ideal start to a week like this! And yet the flip side is that all three of these opportunities are exciting. But more on that another day - my very early morning has been threatening to catch up with me all day and has finally succeeded.

Sleep well!

At once and immediately

Given that it's Lent I think it's only fair that I try and shoe horn Jesus in here somewhere.

Interestingly, when I started thinking about Jesus and spontaneity it didn't take me long to come up with an example of a story that really challenges me.

Both Matthew and Mark's gospels record Simon (Peter) and his brother Andrew's life-changing encounter with Jesus. The two men are just minding their own business, earning a living, when Jesus turns up and announces, ‘Come, follow me and I will send you out to fish for people'. I suspect that for those of us that have grown up in church this will have become one of those stories that we risk getting a bit 'Whatever' about. This is Jesus - of course there's nothing remotely weird about him just wandering up to people, telling them to drop everything and follow him around. What's no more weird than that is the fact that they do exactly what he says. They drop everything and follow him.

Now this is one of those stories where it's important to compare and contrast with other places in the Bible. John's gospel suggests that before Andrew met Jesus he was already beginning to engage with the teaching and ministry of John the Baptist, describing him as one of John's disciples. Chapter one tells us that when John pointed Jesus out to Andrew and a friend they decided to spend the day with him, the result of which is that Andrew goes and finds his brother and tells him that 'We have found the Messiah'. Once Andrew's spent some time with Jesus, he wants to start introducing him to other people.

So back we go to Matthew and Mark. Let's assume that this is not Andrew and Simon (Peter)'s first encounter with Jesus (as my NIV Study Bible also assumes). These are two men who have spent time with Jesus although probably not very much. Now let's have Jesus walking along the sea shore, reaching the boat and suggesting they ‘Come, follow me and I will send you out to fish for people'. Let's be honest, that makes a bit more sense.

But you still can't get away from the fact that their unequivocal, unhesitating response is pretty impressive. 'At once they left their nets and followed him.' What's that statement actually saying? These two men are walking away from their jobs, their means of earning an income. We know Simon (Peter) was married - in Luke's gospel we hear about Jesus healing his mother-in-law - so you could argue that he's jeopardising his family's well-being.

And yet, 'At once...'

Not 'What a great idea! Let me just finish this catch, make sure there's enough in the bank for a little sabbatical, and pack an overnight bag'.

'At once...'

For me, those are terrifying words.

If you read slightly further on in the same passages, Jesus calls James and John in the same way. Their response? 'Without delay...' (Matthew) and 'Immediately...' (Mark).

Even if we work on the basis (and I'm not sure there's much in the Bible to support this) that maybe Jesus had had a chat with Andrew, Simon, James and John a few days earlier and said, 'I'm thinking of going travelling - are you up for coming with me?', those responses are pretty astonishing. Jesus gives the nod and they get up and go.

I'm not sure I could have done that. I certainly couldn't have just got up and gone, and I suspect that a few days reflection and a list of pros and cons wouldn't have made much difference. It's just too much of a risk.

Not so spontaneous?

I had a moment of clarity yesterday when I realised that in my head there's a very fine line between being spontaneous and not procrastinating. Maybe that ties in with my analysis paralysis. So I'll let you decide how to categorise yesterday's achievement.

I've wanted to make a patchwork quilt for a long time (don't judge me). Last month I found a simple pattern and it's always been my intention to use Fair Trade Fabric so what was keeping me? In my defence, I have been watching the pennies this month - why is it that significant car expenditure all comes at once? - but there's a limit.

So yesterday afternoon I had a hunt for fabric and opted for some fairly random collections of small squares. I'm hoping that piecing them together will be simple and effective - with any luck they'll arrive in the next few days and I can get cracking. Or I can think about getting cracking...

It all starts here

So here's the spontaneous thought that kick this whole thing off...

Why don't I bake some cakes?

This is not an unusual thought for me - I like baking, I'm moderately good at it and it makes me feel creative and productive. Naturally, I leap off the sofa, head to the kitchen and get cracking.

Except that I don't.

I'm having an odd day. I'm not at work (which is a good thing) but I'm feeling preoccupied by things I should be doing but I'm not. I'm also, truth be told, struggling with the news of Oscar Pistorius' murder charge and thinking back to a brilliant day at the Paralympics last September. When I'm in that frame of mind I find it hard to motivate myself to do much at all. Plus I knew that I'd probably have to go shopping for ingredients, and I was aware my housemate's fiance and his mad dog Benji were just about to arrive - not an ideal baking scenario.



This rather marvellous bowl actually

belongs to my grandma - it was a
wedding present 64 years ago.  



My other slight issue with spontaneity is that I have a tendency to have a bright idea and then before I know it it's become a whole big project rather than one small opportunity.

And this is when I resolve to be spontaneous.

I walk round the corner to stock up on ingredients by which point I'm feeling committed. As predicted, fiance and dog arrive soon after so the actual baking is postponed until I have the run of the house later in the evening.

But, as I find is often the case, once I've managed to break out of my 'woe is me' mindset I get all productive - I write yesterday's blog post, subscribe to a magazine (a job I've been meaning to do for weeks) and spend some time reading.

 

Once I get started it's plain sailing. Although I've been baking for years I've learnt a lot from using my Great British Bake Off recipe book over the last year and I now spend far more time on getting the basic mixture right. Spending several minutes creaming butter and sugar together, and then adding eggs in small doses gives a girl plenty of time to, er, reflect.



 A couple of hours later I have a dozen pink cup cakes. I put some on a plate for the love birds and have one myself with a well-earned cup of tea. 

In case you're wondering, the grand plan that formulated in the seconds after I thought about baking was that I would take cakes round to some of my single friends when they were finished. In the end it was a bit late for that, but I did leave some outside my sister's sister-in-law's house on my way to work this morning. I hope she found them...

Taking things up for Lent

I don't do giving stuff up for Lent.

Let me be clear - this is not a well-thought through theological statement or a criticism of those who do. It's simply the result of an inability to plan. Lent happens every year and yet somehow it always ends up catching me out. This year is no exception - Shrove Tuesday passed without comment (and, indeed, without pancakes) and it's now Thursday and life has continued as normal.

Until this afternoon.

This afternoon I had a moment of clarity. Instead of giving something up, I'm going to start doing something. Well, I'm going to try. I'm going to have a crack at something that challenges the very core of who I am.

I'm going to be spontaneous.

When I think of something I'd like to do, I'm going to do it. I'm not going to spend hours considering the pros and cons, the time it might take. I am - within reason - just going to do it.

Ah, I hear you (silently) cry - the 'within reason' caveat! The ultimate get-out clause.

So, clarification. 'Within reason' (in this context) means that I won't do anything a) illegal (not least because I would argue that that goes against the basic premise of Lent...), b) I won't bankrupt myself and c) I will honour all my existing commitments - turning up for work when I'm supposed to, for example. But apart from that, the world is my spontaneous Lenten oyster.

Now, I realise that for many, the idea of being spontaneous is a no-brainer, but I'm a reflector. That means I think about everything. A lot. I suffer from an acute form of analysis paralysis which means that I have a habit of think about things so much that I often don't end up taking action. There are benefits to reflection which is why I'm not giving up reflection for Lent - that would be stupid. But there are genuine downsides and it seems daft to miss the opportunity to discipline myself to live outside my comfort zone a little for the next six weeks.

Will I manage? Who knows. Will I give it my best shot? I'll try...